Finding someone marrying his/her first love is quite arduous. In a country like Kenya for instance, the scenario is further complicated for those brought up in rural areas by cultural barriers. This is because almost all Kenyan communities consider endogamous marriage (marrying within a clan/extended family) a taboo. Since everyone either start or attempt to start relating during their teenage years, these people raised up in the countryside will have no choice but to just date people they’re sure they can’t marry just for the time being before they can be in a position to increase their geographical diameter of interaction so that they can meet people they can date and marry. And no matter how much you love your relative/ clanmate, you will have no choice but to let the relationship fail if at all you want peace with the society. But you will find that even those brought up in urban areas who interacts with people from all over the country, still undergo a series of breakups before finally settling down with one. What might be the reason(s) why most relationships don’t lead to marriage?.
Media portray casual sex as “cooler” than marriage. Successful marriages hardly appear in the news
Many television programs are dedicated to airing problems people undergo in marriages, and this can bring among unmarried. To make matters worse, there’s no single program dedicated to celebrating successful marriages. (You can tell me if you know of any). When someone sees more of these ugly stories, she will start looking for ways to avoid them. One solution is to avoid relationships like a plague. In some cases, many people, especially women are advised to read red flags from the very beginning of a relationship and run away whenever they see any. With this plan in mind, it’s possible to let a potential relationship fail.
Many relationship experts always tell women that it is impossible to change a man, and this can make her walkout even before asking him if he can change. There’s a man I know who was struggling so much to quit drinking but was afraid of telling anyone. Even though he wasn’t in any relationship at that time, it’s a possibility that a man like him can be left somewhere because of drinking, yet he is struggling to quit.
Pride.
Pride is always manifested when a misunderstanding arises between a couple and one will feel that the other is the cause of the problem should initiate the process of reconciliation. The other will also be feeling the same. There may be a period of no communication between the two and this may end up being a bigger problem. Initiating a reconciliation process neither means you are desperate nor tolerating nonsense. Even if you’re sure it’s the other party that is wrong, you can take the lead by telling him or her that s/he is wrong and wait for what s/he will say.
Little attention, people value other things.
People these days give very little attention to their love life as it is something they don’t need to remain alive. This has made many people to first focus on what you can’t do without first, and that is; how to put bread on the table. Once financially stable, there is always a sense of independence, especially in women. For men on the other hand, many tend to be bossy as their bank accounts continue to read bigger figures. When people with these viewpoints happen to come together, it’s highly unlikely that the relationship won’t anywhere. If a man who thinks that he is a boss and should be bowed to couples up with a woman feels that being with a man brings very little if no difference in her life, who do you think will initiate the process of reconciliation when a misunderstanding arises or will admit that he/she is wrong? In such a case, very little disagreement can cause a breakup.
Wrong pairing.
Have you ever heard of a man who doesn’t love his firstborn as other kids simply because he or she was born out of wedlock? You will be left wondering why he went for a lady with a kid in the first place if he’s uncomfortable with raising another man’s kid. This is an example of a mismatch; a matching where the two parties aren’t fully in love with the state they found their spouse.
In some cases, you find a man telling his wife to quit her job so as to look after the children for he is able to provide. This can be only reasonable if it’s a mutual agreement, but if the man just woke up with the idea, it’s totally unjustifiable. This lady has been working towards this career from kindergarten up to wherever she is. So, if you want a housewife, look for an unemployed woman or first agree before you go far with your relationship if she will be comfortable with being a stay at home mom.
Cheating.
In the case of cheating, when the party that is being cheated on prefers being single to sharing, the relationship will remain history. Cheating remains a major reason why many relationships fail.
Higher expectations.
If you are a fan of romance literature, soap operas, and telenovelas, they may raise your expectations to an extent that landing in a normal relationship will seem to you as a disappointment and many relationships don’t lead to marriage because of this.
Promiscuity.
Some people just find jumping from one partner to another giving them a lot of fun and they will go around bragging how they have many partners or how they are good players.
Immorality
Ways through which people define morality greatly differ depending on one’s religious beliefs, sexual orientation, and environment among other factors. But despite how you define morality, immorality is a big factor in relationships. Someone who has been hiding some immoral characters from his/her partner will piss off the partner when the characters are eventually manifested along the way and may cause a break-up.
John Michael 